chaitaliM,
My dear
We all grow up especially rollicking carelessly and care-free through the effervescent teenage years.
Freedom…adventure…challenges…confident about knowing who you are and what you are doing…living life cool and chic… and if you can sing and dance rap with bros and dudes you really are in there.
Your individuality matters to you… your own space… your decisions… your choices… dress…time…courses…junk food…
Your growing up is your very own personal adventure. And you would like to make your personal choices about how you go about it.
Now and then you look back and wonder about whether things could have been different. Did you miss out on something? Could you make up for that missing out? Will you get a second chance?
The good news is that we continue growing up and learning anew as we grow up.
Here’s something that might help you do that…
Photo: terryq
THINGS I WISH I’D KNOWN AT 18
That we do not grow up uniformly but in spots and streaks
so that we may be mentally mature but emotionally underdeveloped,
or have a good practical grasp but still lack spiritual depth;
and we must not make the mistake
of confusing our categories of grown-upness.
That candour in order to grow
is different from candour in order to hurt;
and putting someone right
is quite a different thing from putting someone down.
That the way to persuade someone in not to beckon him
to come and look at things from where you stand
but to move over to where he stands
and then try to walk hand in hand
to where both of you would like to stand.
That the best (and ultimately, the only) way to make a good impression,
is by becoming who you are,
and not by trying to conform
to anyone else’s standard of what you ought to be.
That if you do not find pleasure in solitude,
you will not develop enough resources within yourself
to find genuine pleasure in company;
and conversely, if you do not find pleasure in company,
your solitude will be barren and involuted
rather than creative and expansive.
That wanting to be liked and admired
by persons whose opinions or characters you do not really respect
is the most common and pernicious form of prostitution in the world.
That in the deepest Platonic sense of the word,
you do not truly “know” something until you act upon it;
and that “know thyself” is a meaningless injunction
until and unless such knowledge compels you
to put it into action in immediate and practical terms.
Adapted from Sidney Harris
I was 18 so so long ago… and I really missed out on so much of this. Fortunately one can continue learning whatever age one is at.
And, thank God, now that I am over 72, I can confidently say that I have made up quite a bit with lessons picked up along the way.
You can do that too… just in case. Better to do that early, though. It can make the rest of your life and living more peaceful and fulfilling.
Take care and continue learning as you grow up.
Love, Terry