Thoughts and musings on another Sunday morning…..
It is very easy to be a priest-uncle, really. You can be the good guy.
You visit occasionally and you are generally welcomed by family and treated special. Spontaneous hospitality…. mmmmmmmmmmm ..home-cooked food.. and a restful break…
And the nephews and nieces are comfortably close because you do not look on them or their behaviour critically. You can appreciate who they are and all that they have done without suggestions about them possibly being able to do better if they had really gone all out.
You do not have to deny permissions and you can always say nice things to and about them .
No unnecessary inhibitions in that regard. Or responsibility either.
And if there is something controversial that you are asked to comment about, you can sit on the proverbial fence and let the parents handle it!
Of course you can make suggestions and give helpful advice and be there when there is some kind of trouble but in the end you do not have to make the difficult decision.
And you can love and care without worry. Not that you are indifferent and you do not get upset when something does not go quite the way you might think is right.
Of course you do, but your worry is less… you do not have to live with the consequences… or fret about how to repair the damage..
There is no danger of being viewed as an all-controlling elder who doesn’t quite understand.
No generation gap with you…
Yes, it is easy to be an uncle!
(Picture for representational purpose only.
Aging processes not considered.
Exclusions,if any,
due to limitations
in resource material
and is duly regretted)
Then again, you miss out on the really really good parts. It is much more satisfying to be a proud parent than a proud uncle. And you miss out on the daily growing-up struggles that so often remind you of the times when you yourself were young. And you miss out on sharing and being part of the miracles of maturing beautifully through all that happens.
You have to watch from a distance and always wonder about how it would have been if you yourself were parent to children you will never ever have.
For those of you who are parents, hats off to you for the challenging lives you live and the wonderful way you live it !
I do not have much of a choice about it now because of the kind of life I have chosen to live but even as I celebrate with you the parents that you are, I shall continue rejoicing for being the uncle that I am…
No regrets.
And I shall also celebrate being brother or brother-in-law to you. It took me some time to work out a respectable non-interfering equation with your lives but I think I am there now..
You do your thing… I do my thing.. and we are there for one another when necessary.
And yes, I love you all too. I have not been brought up to say this easily or often.
And though I do not visit too much and not connect with you on the phone much, I do care.
My reasonably regular emails hopefully show that I do…
Enough for now. It is Sunday like I said, and I must get back to catching up and lazing around restfully !
Take care. Love to all of you, Terence